MY GRANDMA HAS PASSED FROM THIS WORLD TO THE NEXT.
About 1 week ago I made a post about a sadness in my family. It was weird for me to share that as I am usually the type to close the blinds and keep my personal life very personal, but it felt good to talk to you guys a little, so here I am again. I probably won’t get too into the details as it is a depressing topic and I only want to bring you guys happiness on my page, but I did want to update you.
On November 5th at 2:20PM EST my Grandma passed away at age 89 and I attended her funeral today.
As one would expect it to be, it has been a very stressful time for my family, most especially my Dad and his siblings.
Around the time I wrote my first blog on this subject my family was hurting so badly that I had a very hard time getting through some days. I could not take my mind off my family and focusing on work proved difficult. I had one night where I couldn’t stop crying after spending an hour on makeup and basically had to wash it all off and start again because I had destroyed it.
I don’t cry often, I don’t often feel the need to, but this hurt my heart.
Here she is with my Dad:
I did not know my Grandmother, I cannot claim that we were close but I heard many stories about her. To watch my Dad go through this pain has been very hard for me. To see tears drop from his face and hear his tone of voice change in the way it did, it feels like I’ve been gutted. But being there for him on the other hand felt good.
It’s maybe odd to say, but times like these really bring a family together and remind you to smell the roses. I have a lot of sisters and a very big family so getting together is rare, however my Grandmother is the 3rd death in the family over the past 2 months so we have been seeing a lot of each other.
There was one point at the church (I am not personally religious but my family is Catholic and I was raised Catholic) where all of my sisters and my Mother had leaned in to give my Father a hug at once… We stood there as a family holding each other and as much as it was in sadness, I could not have felt more blessed to have them.
I have an amazing, beautiful and supportive family. We are all so lucky to be surrounded by such quality of love from one another. I really felt this today.
After the funeral I returned to my parents home and got to see this big ball of sweetness:
I sat with my Father more and listened to him think out loud about his Mother. I feel happy to be there for him and I wouldn’t trade that for anything in the world, yet still…
Today was exhausting, I feel very tired and overwhelmed but my day isn’t over.
I’ve got to get online and climb for Miss MFC as I have committed myself to, but I’m going to take a personal moment to sit in the silence and listen to myself just breathe a moment.
A moment between me and me is much needed. I have been so GO-GO-GO since the month started that I’ve gotta just force myself to take this all in before I explode.
It’s already 9:30PM EST, pretty late, but I’ll try my best to be online at 11 the latest. If you guys cannot make it to the chat room because I’m so late; I do understand. I will be there though.
Also, lets not discuss this in the chat room please. I appreciate your kindness and condolences but the energy in the chatroom should remain upbeat and positive. We use the chatroom as an escape from a long day to a much happier more magical place and I would like if it can always remain that way.
Thanks so much for reading!
It really does feel better to write something down